(In kindness: today's thought includes reflection on my father's death. If that's going to drudge up any unwanted feelings for you, please sit this one out)

Do you ever look back on your past self, shake your head, and wonder, "What was I thinking?"

I work very hard to remind myself our life choices don't ultimately have to be classified as "right" or "wrong"; they just are what they are.

Yet, with time comes clarity... and this time of year always serves as a reminder of how far I've come in understanding my needs as a human being.

(Don't get me wrong; I have a long way to go... but I have made some progress) ☺️

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13 years ago - in August - I gave birth to my first baby.

3.5 weeks later, I went back to teaching. (ridiculous)

2 months after she was born - in October - my father died.

He left this earth on a Tuesday, services were Thursday-Friday, and I went back to teaching on Monday. (also ridiculous)

Sigh.

Needless to say, I was not my best self.

At 3.5 weeks post-partum, I was nowhere near ready to return to a studio of 36 students. Physically, hormonally, logistically... it was just too soon.

At two months post-partum, adding my first parental loss to the mix was... a lot. Three days off from teaching was just not enough time.

What should have been a season spent with my loved ones and finding space to process the stuff of life was, instead, summed up in these words:
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"I don't have a choice".

I wasn't oblivious. I knew what I was doing was a stretch. I simply didn't think finances left me any option.

I was still charging a per-lesson rate and calculating the potential loss from even a single day "off" felt catastrophic.

I'd spent my life building a studio where I thought my students' loyalty was contingent upon placing their needs ahead of mine. I knew they loved me, but I misunderstood why. I thought they needed to feel like my top priority.

Spoiler alert: they didn't. I thought their commitment came from my endless flexibility and devotion to their needs. As it turns out, they just like the way I help them play the piano.

My point today is this: You are not an ever-renewable resource.

Studio numbers - including finances - are often more resilient than we think.

If we need to miss lessons, there are alternatives to be found. Valuable alternatives can be created. We're innovative thinkers by nature, right?

BUT - there is no alternative to you and your well-being.

The truth is, we all react differently to life's circumstances. There's no prescriptive timeline for how many days/weeks/months to take off for major life events.

To some extent, returning to work so quickly after my father's passing helped me carry on with life. I don't mean to negate the potential healing power of our teacherly work.

At the same time, feeling obligated to put on a good face for the outside world is not always in our best interests - or our students', for that matter. I can name a handful of "cringy" studio moments from that fall of 2010 that speak volumes to my lack of clarity.

Would I have been a more effective teacher had I just taken a few weeks during that time to rest and center myself? We'll never know... but it's worth considering.

I know finances are scary and student retention can be an anxiety-inducing subject. But I want to remind you today that investing in yourself IS investing in your studio.

The best way to keep students enrolled is to provide them with an incredible lesson experience. You can't do that if you are otherwise drowning in life.

Maybe that looks like taking time with family. Maybe it's heading to a teacher conference or workshop for a few days. Maybe it's setting aside more intentional time for lesson-planning or studio communications.
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This idea manifests itself in many ways. I just want to remind you today to choose yourself. Strive to be ever-more-cognizant of your own limits and needs. Trust the good work you are doing inside your studio walls. Know your numbers are more resilient than you may think.

Thanks for reading this reflection. Telling our stories in hopes of helping someone else avoid our struggles is the stuff of TeacherLife, right?

Do you have a story of a time you felt obligated to teach through difficult life circumstances? Regardless of what you decided, hit that REPLY button and tell me about it.

Seeing as how we are largely a profession of boundary-challenged individuals, I promise you're in good company. ☺️

🥂May we learn to trust the resilience of our studio numbers and remember how valuable our own wellness is to our work. 🥂

Other Ways I Can Help You:

On the Podcast This week we're talking about Busy Teenagers and the No. 1 neglected step in keeping them - and their families - content. Check out Episode 148. Listen Here

FREE DOWNLOAD To accompany Episode 148, I designed a three-page printable to aid in your teen "Team Meetings". Check it out here (don't worry; adding your email again will not result in duplicates). Get Your Download Here

Patreon Community Our next round of Teachers Teaching Teachers is coming up on Friday, October 27th! Join us at 11am eastern time, or catch the replay later that weekend. I often choose a piece of supplemental repertoire for TTT, but this month we'll be looking at a Piano Adventures classic: Looking Glass River. Join us as we talk about ALL the ways we teach Alberti Bass, balance of melody/accompaniment, phrase shape, and more. ​ Check Out the Patreon Here

Can't-Live-Without Repertoire I'd forgotten how much I loved the pieces in Book 3 of The Best of Martha Mier until recently. I use Book 1 with Elementary students frequently (and have shared it in this series before). There are a strong number of Autumn-related pieces in this collection, so if you're still looking for some pre-holiday seasonal music, check this out for your early Intermediates! Get Yours Here

One-to-One Teacher Consultations If you are looking to make any changes (or upgrades!) to your studio approach in 2024, I'm happy to help you work out your ideal vision. More details here

A Favorite Thing I always credit (the great!) Diane Hidy with putting these guys on my radar. They are a fantastic way to remind students to sit up properly without having to use words. I've shared them before but wanted to suggest them as inexpensive student holiday gifts. What a sweet reminder for students to leave on their home instruments to be reminded of good posture! Find it on my Favorites List

NOW: Hit that REPLY button and tell me about a time you've struggled with whether or not to teach in the middle of life's circumstances.

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Onward and upward toward knowing ourselves (and our limits) better than ever 🥂

Want to check out PAST One Thought Thursdays? Find the Archives Here.​

*This email may contain affiliate links. That's just smart business, but please know all recommendations are purely my own, and are absent of any icky ulterior sales motives.

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