Today, I Confess: I Didn't See This Coming...
At the end of Episode 214, I promised a Confession today related to the universal SHOULDS of teaching.
Well, forgive me, but I'm going in a different direction.
***
Something happened yesterday that knocked the wind right out of me. You've probably experienced something similar.
First, the backstory:
I teach an elementary-aged sibling pair that I absolutely adore. That affection notwithstanding, they've had a discouraging year of piano.
There has been little-to-no practice at home. They are pleasant (and charming!) during the lesson itself, but it's clear their interest level in the piano has faded to minimal, at best.
These are deeply musical kids. Their parents have made music a core value of their family from Day 1, long before I entered their lives.
But something has been different this year.
In every conversation I've had with Mom and Dad, they report there are just too many battles over practice time at home. We collectively decided to "ride the wave" of waning motivation in hopes of it returning.
This is not new territory for me. I'm pretty open to seasons where interest dips and I believe in playing the long game of music study.
Still, I will confess: I was ready to let these kids go.
...until yesterday.
Mind you: I'm 1 week + 1 day away from my last lessons of the school year. Enough said. We all know how hard it is to stay enthusiastic this time of year, especially with students who aren't holding up their end of the bargain.
As I was trading these siblings out between lessons, one casually announced they were going to a new school next year.
Hmm. Oh, really?
The other sibling proceeded to tell me they got a new house in a neighboring school district and from now on they would be living 4 days with Mom and 3 days with Dad every week. She was quick to add, "They're not breaking up; they just need to spend some time apart."
My heart sank. 💔
Of course things have been difficult this year.
This is not a commentary on divorce. This *is* a reminder that we - the teachers - just never know what's going on at home.
The details of this family's situation are still a mystery to me. I don't need to know; I've come to love and respect them and that's all that matters. I am heartbroken for all parties involved.
Here's the thing - for weeks, my Teacher Heart has been torn over two contrasting philosophies:
(1) As someone who prioritizes relationships over results, do I keep teaching the handful of my students who practice very little, but still enjoy making music with me during their lesson?
...or...
(2) As someone with a colossal waitlist, should I be more discriminating? Should I prune my roster and only work with students who fit the traditional mold of "successful piano students"?
I have no idea if these siblings will continue taking lessons. Obviously, there are complex dynamics (and bigger concerns) at play here.
I *do* know I received clarity through this situation yesterday.
Let me first say this: You don't HAVE to keep students on your roster who don't practice.
But I will *also* say this: Our potential for student impact is not contingent on how they spend their time at home. Especially those who are navigating life's most difficult developments.
It's no secret I'm in this business for the people. That famous quote from Frances Clark? Teach the student first, the music second, and the piano third? That's my desire. Those are my priorities, in that order.
It's not the easiest route to take. It requires careful study of The Unique Human Puzzle in front of you each day, hour to hour.
...and yesterday served as a sobering reminder of how easy it is to *think* we know the full picture of anyone's story.
We never will, friends. There's always more to know.
...and if these kids re-register for next year? I'm all-in. I will be a source of consistency in a rocky world.
If they don't? I'm still on their team, and I will make sure they know it.
Fun Sidenote: Never discount the power of music. Sibling no. 2 left yesterday with assignments featuring Lava Chicken and Rick Astley and I've never seen him happier. 😂
You've probably heard it's Teacher Appreciation Week. Today, I offer my appreciation for all of us who show up for every kind of student.
In a world where the only certainty is change, we find ourselves sitting in a position of influence over others week after week.
🥂 May we never overlook the importance of our consistent presence in students' lives. This relationship often transcends the results of their playing.🥂